|Mario, Sonic and friends refused to show up to the Olympic Games this year to protest the appalling way that China treats its citizens. The Chinese government has warned that "any member of the group caught speaking to the press, be it world famous plumber, weird blue mutant hedgehog or otherwise, will well get beatings". We speak to a member of the group about why they're refusing to take part. The name of the person has been changed and any pictures have been pixellated to protect the interviewee.
goaferboy: Welcome to Gamingcorner. I wish it was under better circumstances. Rest assured that your identity will remain secret to avoid any unwanted attention from the Chinese government.
Gary O: Thank you, I don't want to endanger myself unnecessarily but people need to know about the terrible things going on in China.
goaferboy: The press has been covering this for the time leading up to the Olympic games, have you experienced anything yourself that has yet to be covered?
Gary O: Yes, my brother, "Larry O", and I were just getting off of the plane at Beijing airport and I heard the security guards whispering to each other "Hey, let's give that fat foreigner and his lanky friend a bit of hassle". Next thing we know, we're in an office with our boiler suits round out ankles with sniffer dogs barking at us. No one told us why we were there and what they were looking for. "Larry O" even began crying, but that just made them laugh more.
goaferboy: That's horrendous! Surely you reported the security staff to the police?
Gary O: We went straight to the police station after we were finally released from airport security. They made us wait in the police station waiting room for 3 hours. When someone finally came out to see us all they said was "I've got your complaint form right here", stuck their finger up at us and laughed us out of the building.
goaferboy: That's no way to treat a guest, especially one who has done as many amazing things as you. Did anyone show any sympathy towards you? Did anyone help?
Gary O: Yes, the other guys that featured in "Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games". They all had similar experiences. "Andrew" got called a "fat ginger ****" by a passing police officer. They then started juggling his man boobs around and tugging on his moustache. He's not like his character in the games, he's actually quite sensitive. "Rodney" tried to defend "Andrew" but the police officer shot him. No warning, just shot him! Luckily he was carrying a few rings or he'd have been a dead man.
goaferboy: Christ, I couldn't imagine a world without "Rodney". How is "Andrew" feeling now?
Gary O: Not good. He's refusing to eat and keeps talking about dying his hair black. We're really worried about him.
goaferboy: I can imagine. Thank you for your time "Gary O", we hope your message gets across. Send our best wishes to the rest of the guys.
Gary O: Thanks, I'll pass on the message.
Labels: ...now watch this drive, Features, Mario, NWTD, Olympics, Sonic