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    NWTD: Geldof blasts Nintendo
    Friday, 22 August 2008
    Sir Bob Geldof has gone off on a sweary, crazed rant again. Although this time it isn't about third world poverty, it's about a brutal underground animal fighting syndicate held by Nintendo employees. Geldof, 56, held a conference today at his bungalow in Slough.

    Geldof was visibly angry as he described how Nintendo employees went out into the wild to search for animals for their sick game. "The animals normally hide in long grass to avoid detection by humans" said Sir Bob. "Once the employee has found an appropriate animal, he captures it in a small red and white trap." He then goes on to describe the trap. "It's the size of your fockin fist!" Said Geldof, holding up one of the traps "Some of these animals are as big as a car! That's just fockin cruel, not to mention physically ludicrous." yelled Geldof

    Geldof then went on to describe what happens once the poor animals are brought back to the Nintendo offices. "The poor things are then only released to fight each other until one faints. At which point it is returned to its trap and taken to the vets. The little fockers aren't even allowed out of their traps when they're being treated, the doctors just heal them while they're in there and send them out to fight again" Sir Bob described how brutal the fights can be, including lightning and fire attacks leaving many animals permanently scarred and traumatised.

    And the worst part is the people responsible aren't even content with capturing a few animals. The motto for the group is "gotta catch 'em all", implying that they won't stop until they have every breed of animal captured in their tiny cages. Geldof named the person responsible for researching the creatures as "Professor Oak". "The worst part is, only this Oak chap really knows about the creatures. Most people don't even know they fockin exist!"

    Gamingcorner approached Nintendo bosses but they have been advised not to talk to the press by their lawyers. More on this story as we get it.

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    posted by goaferboy @ 11:00  
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